"The campest thing on television"
May. 21st, 2006 02:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sister_luckGuess what I watched on telly last night?
Yes, you're right, of course I watched the Grand Prix de la Chanson. It's become a bit of tradition in this household as it has in countless other homes in Europe.
This is how we've done it for the past four years: We watch, drink, snark and make notes on the various performers. We've even got a system of doodles - a trashcan for blatant Eurotrash, little ears for disharmony, skulls and hellfire (a small bonfire and a picture of a little devil with his fork) for particularly terrible offerings, pianos, violins and so on.
This year was the first time that we were able to enjoy the BBC's coverage of the event and this was much more fun than the German version which takes itself much too seriously (who would have guessed...). I'm sure that regular British viewers are already bored by Terry Wogan, but for us he was quite amusing.
The word of the evening of course was amazing as it was so overused.
The Swiss offering - penned by our very own Ralph Siegel whom we hate with a passion - was true to form: soppy, slightly boring and the usual rehash of Ein bisschen Frieden.
Moldova had a pretty bad "Britney Spears impersonator" and was awarded a skull by us. They started the tradition of unusual props - why did one of the dancers race around the stage on one of those mini-scooters that have been out of fashion for quite a while now?
Israel's song was boring and not sung very well, but the attempt at copying the Fabulous Baker Boys' piano lounging got a couple of laughs from us. It was also the first of many white outfits.
Latvia's a cappella boys - in off-white suits - were a bit too jazzy for Eurovision, but they know how to sing. Still, what was up with the robot mannikin?
Norway overdid the violins and pseudo-Enya folklore and bored us to tears, but at least the outfit of the singer was white again.
Las Ketchup got a qué? from us - weird easy listening with a free dance routine with red office chairs.
Malta's Fabrizio Faniello had the eyebrows of doom and got a trashcan, a skull and hellfire. I even attempted to draw a little bass-drum for the Euro-dancebeat.
Then it was time for Germany and while this year's contestants weren't as embarrassing as the previous ones they were rather boring. That country song lacked serious oomph.
Denmark gave us the twist and another white outfit. The singer had a good voice but a bad hair day. We quite liked the song.
Russsia puzzled us with a song without a piano, but a piano on stage which had the sole purpose of hiding another ballet dancer. The song was boring and the singer in the white vest looked like he tried to appeal to mother-in-laws and the gay crowd.
Macedonia gave us another sexy outfit, but the singer wasn't up to her job. More hellfire.
Romania: boring Eurotrash and too much eyeliner.
Bosnia & Herzegovina: another white outfit, an accordion and boredom.
The Lithuaninas and their football chant got four clowns from us, but we weren't really amused. Not half as clever as they thought.
The UK's Daz Simpson gave us crap rap and a WTF? This wasn't meant to be taken seriously or was it? Hellfire!
Anna Vissi from Greece had a rather strong voice, but her song was fairly boring. Typical ballad along the lines of "You're an asshole but I still love you".
Then it was the turn of the later winners, Lordi from Finland who offered GWAR for beginners: ONE LOUDER! We enjoyed that as it was wellmade and as we have a penchant for heavy metal music that doesn't take itself seriously but we didn't think they'd have a chance.
Ukraine was folklore crap again in a white outfit with rope-skipping on stage. Yawn.
Virginie Pouchain from France was cute, but I didn't like her singing style. A bit too soppy overall and thus more hellfire.
Croatia's contestant had huge scary lips and that's all I remember.
The boyfriend's comment on Ireland's Brian Kennedy: "What a girl!" Too soppy for my taste.
Sweden's Carola had one of the best voices, but again a boring song.
Turkey wasn't any better, but not much worse - except for the singing.
Armenia gave us more cheese and a double WTF. I think we were already fed up.
Then it was time for the results and that gave us some great exchanges.
"You look like Will and Grace." - said to the presenters
and the priceless attempt by the chubby Dutch presenter to offer his phone number to the male Greek presenter who then guessed: "I bet it's 696969."
Overall, not many good songs and performances, so we were quite pleased that Lordi won.
Yes, you're right, of course I watched the Grand Prix de la Chanson. It's become a bit of tradition in this household as it has in countless other homes in Europe.
This is how we've done it for the past four years: We watch, drink, snark and make notes on the various performers. We've even got a system of doodles - a trashcan for blatant Eurotrash, little ears for disharmony, skulls and hellfire (a small bonfire and a picture of a little devil with his fork) for particularly terrible offerings, pianos, violins and so on.
This year was the first time that we were able to enjoy the BBC's coverage of the event and this was much more fun than the German version which takes itself much too seriously (who would have guessed...). I'm sure that regular British viewers are already bored by Terry Wogan, but for us he was quite amusing.
The word of the evening of course was amazing as it was so overused.
The Swiss offering - penned by our very own Ralph Siegel whom we hate with a passion - was true to form: soppy, slightly boring and the usual rehash of Ein bisschen Frieden.
Moldova had a pretty bad "Britney Spears impersonator" and was awarded a skull by us. They started the tradition of unusual props - why did one of the dancers race around the stage on one of those mini-scooters that have been out of fashion for quite a while now?
Israel's song was boring and not sung very well, but the attempt at copying the Fabulous Baker Boys' piano lounging got a couple of laughs from us. It was also the first of many white outfits.
Latvia's a cappella boys - in off-white suits - were a bit too jazzy for Eurovision, but they know how to sing. Still, what was up with the robot mannikin?
Norway overdid the violins and pseudo-Enya folklore and bored us to tears, but at least the outfit of the singer was white again.
Las Ketchup got a qué? from us - weird easy listening with a free dance routine with red office chairs.
Malta's Fabrizio Faniello had the eyebrows of doom and got a trashcan, a skull and hellfire. I even attempted to draw a little bass-drum for the Euro-dancebeat.
Then it was time for Germany and while this year's contestants weren't as embarrassing as the previous ones they were rather boring. That country song lacked serious oomph.
Denmark gave us the twist and another white outfit. The singer had a good voice but a bad hair day. We quite liked the song.
Russsia puzzled us with a song without a piano, but a piano on stage which had the sole purpose of hiding another ballet dancer. The song was boring and the singer in the white vest looked like he tried to appeal to mother-in-laws and the gay crowd.
Macedonia gave us another sexy outfit, but the singer wasn't up to her job. More hellfire.
Romania: boring Eurotrash and too much eyeliner.
Bosnia & Herzegovina: another white outfit, an accordion and boredom.
The Lithuaninas and their football chant got four clowns from us, but we weren't really amused. Not half as clever as they thought.
The UK's Daz Simpson gave us crap rap and a WTF? This wasn't meant to be taken seriously or was it? Hellfire!
Anna Vissi from Greece had a rather strong voice, but her song was fairly boring. Typical ballad along the lines of "You're an asshole but I still love you".
Then it was the turn of the later winners, Lordi from Finland who offered GWAR for beginners: ONE LOUDER! We enjoyed that as it was wellmade and as we have a penchant for heavy metal music that doesn't take itself seriously but we didn't think they'd have a chance.
Ukraine was folklore crap again in a white outfit with rope-skipping on stage. Yawn.
Virginie Pouchain from France was cute, but I didn't like her singing style. A bit too soppy overall and thus more hellfire.
Croatia's contestant had huge scary lips and that's all I remember.
The boyfriend's comment on Ireland's Brian Kennedy: "What a girl!" Too soppy for my taste.
Sweden's Carola had one of the best voices, but again a boring song.
Turkey wasn't any better, but not much worse - except for the singing.
Armenia gave us more cheese and a double WTF. I think we were already fed up.
Then it was time for the results and that gave us some great exchanges.
"You look like Will and Grace." - said to the presenters
and the priceless attempt by the chubby Dutch presenter to offer his phone number to the male Greek presenter who then guessed: "I bet it's 696969."
Overall, not many good songs and performances, so we were quite pleased that Lordi won.
